I remember love.
I would be lying if I said 2014 was the best year ever. While it wasn’t a dramatic year, it was peppered with loss, confusion, uncertainty, and downright personal discomfort.
Maybe it was this mixture of letdowns swirling within and beyond me which gave way to my being deconstructed … kinda like a butterfly in formation when its former self has been dissolved into an unrecognized mush of pulp, formless, weak, vulnerable.
Thank God for cocoons. Yes, thank God for the dark places and spaces in life when you’re off the radar, tucked away out of view, hidden. No longer a version of your former self. Of course it’s lonely there and you long to laugh, love, even struggle in the rays of the sun. However, the secret place is vital to survival and transformation.
2014. Winding down with all its incredulous highs and lows. 2015. Unknown, uncharted, unseen but my heart holds promise of my emergence. I wanna come out and play in the sun, mingle, breath. It’s just a matter of timing…my coming out of my shell, my cocoon, my hidden place, my uncertainties with clarity and a new ability to soar.
For now, I reflect and smile and recall and shed a tear and smile again and shed this year as the clock strikes midnight and I choose memories to file away in the forefront of my mind where even the losses melt in the bright light of the sun. I will remember the love that searched for me, rescued me, kept me alive, touched me, embraced me, engaged me, cocooned me.
I’ll choose to I remember …
only the love.